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《FALLING IN LOVE WHEN YOU-RE TEXTING》Chapter 1 - Commencement

Chapter 1 - Commencement

1/1
No More~.~ set No More~.~

I am a newly appointed HR sprite in the heavenly realm, primarily responsible for assessing the mortal remains and deeds to discern if they possess the qualifications to become immortals, and then to bring them to the celestial realm to secure a position.

Initially, I was a mortal who passed away due to an unforeseen car accident. My soul was discovered by Lord Sirius, who claimed that I had the bones of an immortal and asked if I wished to ascend. Although I enjoyed tales of immortals and celestial beings, I didnt believe in such nonsense; I thought I was merely dreaming.

It wasnt until he persistently pursued me for half a month, narrating the wonders of the heavens and showing me the gruesome state of my demise, that I finally accepted his words.

Later, Lord Sirius guided me to his palace and transferred some of his immortal energy to me, and thus, I effortlessly became a sprite with minimal celestial power.

Lord Sirius specially appointed me to the position of heavenly recruitment sprite. He stated that the celestial realm was in dire need of talent, and my previous mortal occupation in human resources made me an ideal fit for this role.

In the past, mortals were keen on cultivating immortality, and the deities in the celestial realm were selected from their ranks. About two thousand years ago, during the peak of immortal cultivation, the number of celestial beings reached over a hundred million. Even the mounts of some immortals had their own sprites in attendance.

However, after the great celestial battle against the demonic realm, many immortals perished, while the demons were completely wiped out. The mortal world underwent a transformation, dismissing the pursuit of immortality with disdain. Now, each immortal in the celestial realm juggles multiple tasks, working tirelessly and inevitably grumbling, hence the need to prioritize recruitment.

Shortly after my ascension, Lord Sirius introduced me to many powerful deities, stating that without strong connections in the celestial realm, tasks would be challenging. To my surprise, the worldly habit of networking seemed to prevail even in the pure celestial realm. When I remarked on this, Lord Sirius sighed and said, "Times progress, and we in the celestial realm cannot afford to regress."

Dressed in a white robe embroidered with green patterns and draped in a glossy blue and white jacket, his raven hair neatly arranged in a bun secured by an exquisite white jade crown, the immortal who should have spoken in classical terms seemed to be adapting to modernity out of necessity.

The first deity I met was Matchmaker Moon, whose Harmony Hall was adjacent to Lord Siriuss Everlasting Palace. He received me warmly, always suggesting to find me a partner, but was eventually deterred by Lord Siriuss stern words.

Subsequently, I met the Deities of Water, Fire, Wind, Thunder, and Rain, as well as the local deities, Wealth Deity, Door God, River God, Mountain God, and Stove God. They were all very enthusiastic, as if they knew me already. Lord Sirius mentioned that they were all very sociable, and the celestial realm hadnt seen new faces in a long time, which explained their excitement.

The only two I havent met are the supreme rulers, Emperor Skye and Empress Aurora. I heard they have gone into seclusion at the Buddhas abode, and I will have the opportunity to meet them in the future.

A day in the heavens is like a year on Earth.

My first descent to the mortal realm after my ascension was a year after my death. To avoid causing social unrest, I transformed my appearance into another person, one more beautiful than my original form, thanks to my immortal status.

With the mission to find mortals with celestial potential, I found a suitable job in the mortal realm鈥攁n undertaker, responsible for making up the deceased and placing them in their coffins.

The first time I encountered a corpse, I, still possessing celestial power, fainted from fear. To train my courage, Lord Sirius took me to the Underworld that very night.

The Underworld is the first place the deceased visit, and before reincarnation, they maintain their appearance at the time of death. Some spirits were bloodied and disfigured, others were mutilated. After witnessing such sights, I found the corpses seen by undertakers to be quite beautiful.

I asked King Yama why I had not come here, and he glanced at Lord Sirius, saying, "You are not of mortal birth, hence you do not need to be here."

Lord Sirius coughed twice, as if reminding King Yama not to continue. I felt there was more to Yamas words, but he did not accompany us further in the Underworld and quickly made an excuse to leave.

If I am not of mortal birth, then what am I?

While pondering this question, Lord Sirius patted my shoulder and said meaningfully, "Once you have completed your mission, all truths will emerge."

This statement once again confirmed my special identity. As I was about to press on, he added, "Do not delve too deeply; heavenly secrets must not be revealed."

Well, if they must not be revealed, then they must not be revealed.

After touring the Underworld, Lord Sirius returned me to the mortal realm and found me a premium bachelor apartment close to the company. He instructed me on three matters.

First, to fully commit to my work and not to entertain romantic relationships with any handsome men. Any discovered infractions would be severely punished.

Second, to notify him immediately if I encountered any handsome men with celestial potential, so he could review them first.

Third, I could use my celestial powers in the mortal realm but must not be seen by mortals and must not harm the innocent.

I understood the third point, but the first two were quite perplexing. As I munched on fruits, I asked him why.

He smoothed his sleeves and said, "Heavenly secrets must not be revealed; just follow my instructions."

Heavenly secrets must not be revealed; this phrase was almost becoming his mantra.

At the Tianxing Funeral Home, dozens of bodies are delivered daily, sometimes hundreds. In the first half-year, I would lament the impermanence of life and the vulnerability of human life, and the relatives who came to bid farewell would cry their hearts out, full of reluctance. I was moved at times, but as I saw more, I became numb.

These bodies, wrapped in yellow body bags, are pushed into my cold studio, one by one, waiting for me to prepare them for their final journey.

After half a year, I have touched thousands of bodies, many of which had celestial potential. But each time I brought their souls before Lord Sirius, none met his approval, and I had to return the souls to the Underworld, lest it be thought that I was trying to take King Yamas charges.

Once, I sent up a very handsome young man, who had the audacity to say that I had no brains to spare, daring to send anyone to the celestial realm. Even though his position was higher than mine and his celestial power much stronger, he couldnt insult me like that. I was so annoyed that I drew a turtle on his back, and the immortals who saw it covered their mouths and snickered at him for a long time. He held a grudge against me for quite a while.

Another year has passed in the mortal realm, and the number of immortals in the celestial realm remains the same as it was a year ago.

Lord Sirius is distressed, and so am I. I feel that I have met all the recruitment requirements proposed by Lord Sirius, yet he believes there must be some detail I have missed.

And details determine success or failure.

Just as we were reviewing past recruitment scenes, Matchmaker Moon suddenly appeared, playing with the red thread at his waist, asking us, "Have you looked at the deceaseds life and made them willingly let go of the mortal world?"

Was there such a thing? I shook my head, lookingly at Lord Sirius, who was sipping his tea.

Lord Sirius gently put down his teacup, thought for a moment, and said, "It was my mistake. I forgot to tell you that in addition to feeling for celestial potential, you must understand the deceaseds past, help them overcome their trials, and willingly let go of the mortal world. Only when all these conditions are met can one be employed in the celestial realm."

I was mortified; hadnt I wasted a whole year? My performance review would be abysmal.

"Is there anything else you forgot to tell me? I dont want to recruit zero immortals next year and lose face as the celestial recruitment sprite."

He rubbed his forehead with his long, slender fingers, thinking for a long time: "Nothing more. Heavenly secrets must not be revealed; some things you must understand on your own."

I almost choked on his catchphrase "heavenly secrets must not be revealed"!

It was Matchmaker Moon who actually gave me a red thread: "Little Gu, you never had a romantic relationship in your past life; your fate is about to arrive."

Seeing that Lord Sirius did not stop me

No More~.~ set No More~.~
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